[Verse 1] Me, I'm a badger appreciator So I don't appreciate when I see these haters In a heated debate, hating on my fuzzy buddies These fuddy-duddies' behaviour is bloody cruddy The countryside's where I reside And I'll fight mindless violence, inside it with pride It's not a fair fight at all One side's got fur, the other fire rifles I should approach those marksmen and ask them Why they're sneaking 'round in the dark Grown-arsed men It's a little too late to be jogging And this is a well-known spot for dogging Oh, you're not dogging? You're just shooting, maiming and killing Thousands upon thousand of small woodland animals Under the cover of darkness Scrubbing their congealed blood from under your fingernails Then going home to kiss your wives and children? That's alright then, for a minute, I thought you were dogging
[Hook] So here's what I suggest: end the madness (NOW!) Cause some of my best friends are badgers Here's what I suggest: end the madness (NOW!) Cause some of my best friends are badgers Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger Some of my best friends are badgers Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger (Keep them badgers alive!)
[Verse 2] Moley, Toad and Rat went on a walk Rat-a-tat-tapped on Badger's front door But they never got an answer Cause Mr. Badger is now just a sad little corpse God dayum, Kenneth Grahame would be spinning in his grave If we didn't try to save them It's like a modern day Salem When witches switched for the badgers Ridiculous madness When I take a woodland ramble I'm glad to see such a fantastic natural menagerie So to eradicate a fraction of it nastily Really leaves me quite anxious, actually It's meant to prevent cow TB But the ISG see things a little differently Still the goverment's pushing it diffidently So you and me need to give them an epiphany It won't stop bovine tuberculosis And I'm pretty certain you know this