Mr. VanDort A rehearsal, my dear, to be perfectly clear.
Mrs. VanDort A rehearsal for a glorious wedding.
Mr. VanDort Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know,
Mrs. VanDort That nothing unexpected interferes with the show.
Mr. And Mrs. VanDort And that's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...
Mrs. VanDort According to plan,
Mr. VanDort Our son will be married.
Mrs. VanDort According to plan,
Mr. VanDort Our family carried,
Mr. And Mrs. VanDort We'll go right into to the heights of society...
Mrs. VanDort To the costume balls,
Mr. VanDort In the hallowed halls.
Mrs. VanDort Rubbing elbows with the finest.
Mr. VanDort Having crumpets with her highness.
Mr. And Mrs. VanDort We'll be there, we'll be seen, having tea with the queen. We'll forget everything...that we've ever ever been.
Mrs. Everglot It's a terrible day
Mr. Everglot Now don't be that way
Mrs. Everglot It's a terrible day for a wedding.
Mr. Everglot It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in,
Mrs. Everglot That has led to this ominous wedding.
Mr. Everglot How could our family have come to this?
Mr. and Mrs. Everglot To marry off our daughter to the noveaux-rich.
Mrs. Everglot They're so common,
Mr. Everglot So coarse.
Mrs. Everglot Oh, it couldn't be worse!
Mr. Everglot It couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree. It could be land-rich bankrupt aristocracy, without a penny to their name...just like you...and me.
Mrs. Everglot Oh, dear.
Mr. and Mrs. Everglot And that's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...
Mrs. Everglot According to plan,
Mr. Everglot Our daughter will wed.
Mrs. Everglot According to plan,
Mr. Everglot Our family lead,
Mr. and Mrs. Everglot From the depths of deepest poverty,
Mrs. Everglot To the noble realm,
Mr. Everglot Of our ancestors.
Mr. and Mrs. Everglot And who'd have guessed in a million years that our daughter, with the face
Mr. Everglot of an otter in disgrace,
Mr. and Mrs. Everglot Would provide our ticket to our rightful place?
Victoria (speaking) What if Victor and I don't...like each other?
Mrs. Everglot (speaking) Do you suppose your father and I like each other?
Victoria (speaking) Surely you must...a little...
Mr. and Mrs. Everglot (speaking) Of course not!
Mrs. Everglot (speaking) Get those corsets laced properly...I can hear you speak without gasping. Marriage is a partnership. A little tit-for-tat. You'd think a lifetime watching us (singing) might have taught her that. Might have taught her that.
Mr. Everglot Everything must be perfect
Mrs. Everglot Everything must be perfect
Mr. Everglot Everything must be perfect
Mr. and Mrs. Everglot Everything must be perfect, perfect,
The VanDorts and the Everglots That's why everything, every last little thing, every single tiny microscopic little thing must go...According to plan!