Of all the works of Englishmen deserving fame and glory Of mighty deeds and triumphs bold in his renowned history The one that’s sung and praised the least must be the lavatory Long live the loos of England !
His firm support in hour of need, a shrine for meditation A haven from the busy world, a fond of inspiration The glory of the plumber’s art, triumph of sanitation Long live the loos of England !
The French who have no shame at all have built them on the street And though they may be picturesque it’s hard to be discreet You stand right in the boulevard, a chill wind round your feet Long live the loos of England !
The US put them up in space before the other nations They even paint them black & white to help their race relations But it’s taboo to call them loos, they call them "comfort stations" Long live the loos of England !
In Greece it’s rare to find 'em there, even in the twentieth century And if you do you’ll finally see a little elementary And in the blazing mid-day heat they’re not exactly scent free Long live the loos of England !
In Russia they’ve been nationalized and if you pay your rouble There’ll be a guard and watch-dog too to keep you out of trouble And make quite sure you don’t inscribe some capitalist doodle Long live the loos of England !
Australia’s big and in the bush you’ve loads of space to choose If you avoid the prickly pear you’ve little else to lose But mind you keep one jump ahead of those damned kangaroos Long live the loos of England !
So in this world there is one jam that we must hold whilst down And though they ring the changes one thing must not disappear And if they ask who sang this song tell them “Kilroy was here, mate” Long live the loos of England ! Long live the loos of England !