Everybody's getting cancer At a geometrical rate Maybe it's something you drank or breathed Maybe it's something you ate Perhaps this doesn't concern you Hey, we've all gotta go sometime But maybe I can tell you something To make you change your mind
The alligator dicks are shriveling up Soon they'll all be through Yeah, the alligator dicks are shrinking fast And it will happen to you It will happen to you, boys It will happen to you The alligator dicks are shriveling up And it will happen to you
They're an indicator species Like canaries in the mine They're the first to kick the bucket When things might otherwise seem fine So let's be frank and honest As the situation begs Boys, what are you gonna do About that thing between your legs
The alligator dicks are shriveling up Soon they'll all be through Yeah, the alligator dicks are shrinking fast And it will happen to you It will happen to you, boys It will happen to you The alligator dicks are shriveling up And it will happen to you
I'm not beating around the bush I'm making you a promise Say goodbye to Long Dong Silver Hello to Tiny Thomas You can forget about Viagra Boys, what I mean is It's all a matter of minutiae When you've got a half-inch penis
The alligator dicks are shriveling up Soon they'll all be through Yeah, the alligator dicks are shrinking fast And it will happen to you It will happen to you, boys It will happen to you The alligator dicks are shriveling up And it will happen to you
PCBs in the water Pesticides in the ground Radiation in the wind There's poison all around So if you care about your love life And that good old whoop-de-doo You've gotta stop pollution, boys That's what I'm telling you
The alligator dicks are shriveling up Soon they'll all be through Yeah, the alligator dicks are shrinking fast And it will happen to you It will happen to you, boys It will happen to you The alligator dicks are shriveling up And it will happen to you