"The Ballad of Russell and Julie" Wrap Party Special
Julie and Russell sat one night Russell sparked up a Marlborough Light Julie’s eyes were all ablaze As Russell tried to shun her gaze
He knew that look. He knew the score. It seemed more manic than before. Russell cringed in fear and dread As Julie pulled him near and said:
Lets do it! Lets do it, I’ve had a really good idea. We’ll re-vamp Make more camp A sci-fi show from yester-year I’ve had banter With Tranter Your written word will be hailed in the ming mong mantra. Lets do it. Lets do it tonight.
But he said: I can’t do it. I can’t do it. You’re asking far too much of me I’m harassed Embarrassed I’ve watched the show since I was three. Don’t choose me. Don’t use me. Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me. I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight.
So she said: Lets do it! Lets do it, Make a brand new Doctor Who We’ve got Chris in All’s missing Is his sidekick and an all Welsh crew It’s not silly To ask Billie We’ll film in every quarry from here to Caerphilly Lets do it. Lets do it tonight.
But he said: I can’t do it. I can’t do it. The pressure of the BBC Must email Some young male To alleviate the stress on me Can’t block out Please lock out Images of Johnny B getting his cock out I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight.
So she said Lets do it! Lets do it, Phil okayed my offer to produce ******* We’ll employ Trac To take the flack When he’s giving cast and crew abuse (When he lets his raging temper loose) My decision To use your vision Will make this show the best thing on the television Lets do it. Lets do it tonight.
But he said: I can’t do it. I can’t do it. Chris is giving up this role No timelord Oh god lord How we gonna fill this hole? Its too complex We’re all wrecks My brain is overflowing with the bloody daleks I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight.
Lets do it! Lets do it, We’ll get another timelord in. Don’t sweat it You can’t let it Make you sad and maudlin It’s not over And moreover We’ll get that lovely fella from Casanova Lets do it. Lets do it tonight.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I really feel that I can’t cope More rewrites No respite I think I’ve given up all hope It’ll get canned I’ll be panned Lou says there’s no costumes in the whole of England I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight.
Lets do it! Lets do it, Martha Jones is Freema Agymen******** We’ll bring back Captain Jack To fight against the Cybermen We’ll cast a Great Master He can plunge the planet into global disaster Lets do it. Lets do it tonight.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it. You’ve cast Australia’s pop princess Its madness My sadness Will make this episode a mess My panic Is manic The uproar when I kill her off on the Titanic I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight.
Lets do it! Lets do it, The Doctor needs a brand new mate Don’t linger Go ginger I’m gonna bring back Catherine Tate I wanna You’re gonna Reunite the Doctor with the fabulous Donna Lets do it. Lets do it tonight.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it. I’ve got obsessed with E4’s Skins Writers block Please don’t mock It takes my mind off other things It’s so lame I must blame Dirty thoughts I have about Midshipman Frame**** I can’t do it. I can’t do it tonight.
Lets do it! Lets do it, To film abroad will get my vote I promise Ed Thomas Can bring_Ancient Rome to Upper Boat Its D-Day In Pompei The forums will be buzzing on Outpost Gallifery***** Lets do it. Lets do it tonight.
I can’t do it. I can’t do it. The studio in Rome’s ablaze On fire It’s dire How the hell are you not phased? It’s mental Be gentle They say the cause of fire was a Berkley Menthol I can’t do it. I can’