I'ma tell all you people what I love about watermelon. because I love everything about watermelon. It's not just a physical thing with me. You know, I love everything about the watermelon. I love the social aspects of the watermelon. I love the political aspects of the watermelon. I love the cultutal aspects of the watermelon. I love the fact that the watermelon lives in community with other watermelons, connected by the vine that is the umbilical cord that connects every watermelon everywhere with every other watermelon everywhere, everywhere. And I admit it, I love the fact that the watermelon is big. I mean, big isn't everything, but big is big. And I love the fact that the watermelon is tough on the outside, but soft and sweet and sensitive on the inside. I like that in a watermelon. I like the fact that the watermelon is a fruit you can personally feel secure with. I mean, you could sit on a watermelon. You can't sit on a tomato. Well, I mean, you can sit on a tomato. You can do it. But only once. And you know what I love about the watermelon? The watermelon is self-confident. That watermelon has SELFBEWUSSTSEIN. Yeah, you take a little strawberry - ha-ha! MINDERWERTLICHKEITSKOMPLEX. That's right, inferiority complex, that's a strawberry. That's why the strawberry puts all the seeds on the outside, yeah. It wants to prove how many it's got, ha-ha-ha! That watermelon does not need to do that. The watermelon knows everything important is inside where it counts. But you know what I love most about the watermelon... Oh I know it's banal... But I love the color of the watermelon. I love the fact that the watermelon is green on the outside and red on the inside. Green and red. When you bite into a watermelon it's like having Christmas in the middle of July!
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