Oh, ho, I'm single, and my life's about me again That woman long neglected, I'll find out who I am Oh, oh, I'm single, I'm single, and I'm loving it I have taken up old hobbies, I have no time for a man
I'll call up my old friends, the ones that I once knew So we can bond again just like we used to do You're married with two kids, oh, gee, well, that's too bad for you
Because I'm single, I am woman, I am Goddess I've always loved fried green tomatoes So it was always meant to be I feel my rebirth, I'll find a female soulmate We'll take off for the country just like Thelma and Louise
I've called up every household in phone books A through Z To find another Goddess to share my destiny And now I'm quite convinced the only single one is me
When I buy poultry, two-thirds of it goes rotten I correspond with inmates and I don't comb my hair They've claimed my two legs as federally-owned forest It's been months since I have shaved them Cause there's been no one here to care They call me nasty names at every corner bar I need to see a shrink, this thing has gone too far Last night I threw myself downstairs just for the CPR
Oh, yes, I'm single and I'm not hearing voices! You say that cause you're jealous of all the fun I've had Wait, I'm not single, I've got some special friends now We live in here together and I don't feel so bad I have a female soulmate, her name is Emily Don't tell me you don't see her, she's standing next to me And she doesn't call me sick or weird or deranged mentally Just cause I'm single!