Old St. Nick's got bourbon breath It's so cold you could catch your death A cop sold me some crystal meth It's a Merry Fucking Christmas
Everything's so Chrstmassy The streets are twinkling with frozen pee My priest just sat on Santa's knee It's a Merry Fucking Christmas
All the kids go to bed each night To dream what Santa brings em Unless their Jewish or Muslim or some other gyp religon
Crappy toys flying off the shelves Midgets dressed up to look like elves Spread good cheer or burn in hell It's a Merry Fucking Christmas
All the kids go to bed each night to dream what Santa brings em Unless their Jewish or Muslim or some other gyp religion
Cracklin fires to keep me warm and my collection of Asian port Cradle my bells and work my horns It's a keep on trucking Last year sucking Midget chucking Slap the puck in How much wood could a woodchuck chucken Merry Fucking Christmas