Who could've known that you would be so calm within calamity? For now you've shown us your confidence just grows when under siege Who would've guessed when you were distressed it would be your policy To put your back to the ropes and then, by cracking a joke, knock us out with comedy? Well, oh no, who would've known you were so clever to define Disaster equals laughter over time Disaster equals laughter over time I have to admit that I was tempted to believe I might be wrong When we bound and gagged you and you started to brag that you'd planned this all along But quickly we learned when you were burned you would return with words to prove you're tough enough But you (yes?) failed the test (now confess) Call in distress (SOS) Because the British called your bluff Oh no, who would've known that in this lowly state you'd find Disaster equals laughter over time Disaster equals laughter over time One, two, one two three four You're one in a Maximilian A free-standing strong pavilion No one ever dares to question your opinion You're one in a Maximilian You are feared by soldiers and civilians Holding both sides of the prime meridian You're one in a Maximilian So adored by scores of loyal minions Ooh, you make the ladies turn a shade vermillion You're one in a Maximilian You're one in a Maximilian You are one in a million I pray in your haste that you would not waste a thimble of this irony That these land-loving soldiers have a whale on their shoulders Maximilian von Spee Well, oh no, who would've known that this is all as you designed Disaster equals laughter over time Disaster equals laughter over time Disaster equals laughter over time