Dirty Dike: Am I wack like your first show Or am I bad like a black magic curse Nah I’m fat like a burst nose Clap from the back to the third row Back-slapping birds Am I just a sack of words and some cracked bones Am I lost in this bucket full of knuckle heads Fucking mess scuffles when you’re drunk and there’s nothing said Am I missing out on love in my public bed? Rough it Best trust, but I’m stuck puffing skunk instead Am I tough as lead? Cuss what my mother said Trapped in life’s bread rubbish dust, now we’re hugging less Am I causing your husband some sudden stress Or am I just another bumpkin that’s underdressed Nonetheless They say I’m tight like a shrunken vest Why? Cause I’m fucking fresh Rhyming like drunken sex Am I trapped in the spiral of drugs and debt The vinyl that scratch or the cries when you’re mother’s dead I’m in your mind when it bubbles red So I’m like 5 tonnes of trouble when there’s nothing left A sick muddle Am I a kiss or a big cuddle Am I a big fat shit or a sick puddle Am I the dick muscle twitch when your bitch struggles This is it, juggle this, grip till I spit rubble Quick swiftness shit, am I a bit pissed Sick as the switchblade gripped by the thick stubble Am I normal or am I sane Should I snorkel my way through the thoughts of my shallow grave And not pause till I’m back again Am I gawping in pain at my war face or am I vain Am I the skin of the drum that you’re tapping on Clap along, let your head snap to a happy song Am I a back stage pass or a smile as wide as your fat mate’s ass My rap breaks glass and takes half your mate’s bars Straight past ancient days and leaves great scars Leaves great fucking scars Am I the titbits The what is this The hot business whose got spirit And only stops to rock lyrics A novelist With a lot of shit in his oesophagus The doctor said stop but I’m lost so I’ve got to spit What is this? And that’s an obvious blag Am I Captain Pissman’s colostomy bag Or a spot in your mag or a slag getting robbed on God this is mad I’ll just dodge it and plan To escape the fakes and be free when I suffocate Nothing’s changed, drunk puffing eights in a fucking state Ed Scissortongue: Am I the missing link Hobbit-feet tree-swinging monkey grin Tectonic ends of a stone-faced chiselled chin Am I the will to win Like a million men who missioned in the depths of winter to stop Nazi militia men pillaging their villages Man am I the village idiot Who dribbles mic deliverance, spinning the riddled synonyms Fractured limbs and ligaments For instance imagination figments illuminate the darkness in the distance Am I paddling like ???? in that Dead Man’s curve Or am I drinking pints of piss just like a bed pan perve Until my head can’t swerve Is this the head-case heard Smuggling birds that across ???? you choose to observe Am I that Class A dude spitting Class A tunes at dark venues Find me in blacked out back rooms of the man on the moon Strapping headshoots While simultaneously cooking up some skag in a spoon Am I that cynic with many lyrics That dabble with existential metaphysics Questioning the ancient scripts that paint the minds of millions Or am I another one of many earth-bound spirits Trying to fight the fear if only to find that they’re made in his image Am I just a set of useless shapes and shady remarks A person composed of penny shop parts Trying to walk the shadiest parks Wrist-slitters that lay in the bars I see a red sea embark even Moses couldn’t part with his magical staff Satanical scars, diagonal charms See I’m the man to outreach in my mechanical maniacal arms Spitting cannibal bars Filled with sicker imagery than a VHS of animal farm Am I the man that walks in circles never learning a thing Almost regressing every second through a blaze before I felt I figured my sins A single organism twitching