Now the other day I was standing in line And I'd been standing for, well, quite some time I had a train to catch, I had a place to be Sandwich in my hand, I was all set to leave. I was ready to pay, just gonna beep and move Just two more people in that infuriating que And one of them's gone now; off they drive... And this is when I meet the slowest man alive. He shuffles forward, tripping on every crack Tapping every pocket, his front and back Raises his arms in the air, "Oh dear, where's my cash?" Just as he does so, there's a might splash Pennies and fivers and ten p's and pounds Fall from his arms and bounce on the ground He chuckles. I crack, as down he bends To pick up every last coin, fifties, twenties, and tens. Sandwich melting in hand, the slowest man in this world Plonks his change on the counter, deals it out to the girl "Uh oh!" he exclaims with a huff and a puff "I don't think I have enough" So just as I think I'll never get served A new cashier appears after what we've observed I bound forward, grab my uke from behind I'm ready to blow this slow man's mind Hey, Scattered Change, have you heard of bpay 'Cos I can purchase my sandwich in a unique way I'll tell you a bit more about it after this song But I'm paying with my uke and then I'm moving along As I smugly place down my uke on the machine The slow man laughs at something that I haven't seen... "I like your bpay sticker, your lack of change and a purse, but before you pay... check where your sandwich is first!"