He Shouldn’t-a, Hadn’t-a, Oughtn’t-a Swang On Me (From 'Great race')
He sleeps out there, out where the coyotes wail The reason he ain't at the bar with the boys Makes quite a dismal tale...
He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me He oughtn't-a, shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, no, siree You don't get many callers Sleeping on the lone prairie But he shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me.
Way out West we're wild and wooly, in order to explain it fully: We're tall grown, all grown, All the men are hairy-chested And all the women, double-breasted We're lady-like until molested, And then we're on our own!
He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me. He oughtn't-a shouldn't-a hadn't-a felt so free, His wife gets the insurance, And I'm sorry as can be, But he shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me.
This here job is mighty trying, Sometimes the room is fairly flying with High balls, eyeballs One guy til somebody got'em Tore up the joint from top to bottom I think I was that one that shot him As near as I recall.
He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me. He massacred eight or nine minutes, at Lazy Bee! He then took on the sheriff, and the sheriff's deputy, But he shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me.
All you boys remember Harry The wrangler I was set to marry A long man, strong man One night he yells "I'm from Texas!" And socks me in my solar plexus. Well having normal, good reflexes, I knocked him on his can!
He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a blacked my eye. I'm really a lovable, peaceable kind of guy. I wouldn't scare a rabbit and I couldn't harm a flea, But he shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me.
If this story has a moral, It's: When you're looking for a quarrel or show down; slow down. If by now, you haven't mastered The gentle art of getting plastered, You're just a Low-Down, you ain't mastered The motto of our town!
You shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a start no fight Our burying grounds are a most impressive sight! The message on them tombstones is as simple as can be: He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me... He shouldn't-a, hadn't-a, oughtn't-a swang on me!