If you’re offended by any word in any language, it’s probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child. They were too stupid, they should have been neutered, because all it is is a sound you can make with your mouth! It’s not a weakness that you have naturally. When you come out of that pink ugly hole onto this planet, you’re nothing but a gooey, shrinking, wrinkled ball of weakness. That’s all you are: you’re weak, you’re nothing but weak, and your parents look at that, and they think, “Not weak enough! We can make this thing even weaker by training it to react poorly to different sounds that you can make with your mouth.” We’ll list them out, this is the worst thing, if anyone ever says this sound: [unintelligible gibberish], that’s the worst thing they can call you, so make sure to recoil and cry, and be hurt and devastated, and eat ice cream on a couch for days, and then write a song about it. You wouldn’t do that otherwise, you’d just be happy if your parents didn’t f*ck it up. You’d just be a happier person. I could walk right up to you and go, “Hey, c**t!” and you’d go, “No, I’m Rebecca! But I guess I have a face that looks like a lot of different people. What’s your name? Welcome to Salt Lake!
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