MOVING GUY So they say Captain Hammer's Become a crusader Political, he's cleanin' up the streets.
OTHER MOVING GUY About time!
HAMMER GROUPIES (#1) So they say that it's real love, (all) so romantic! (#2) He signed this!
PENNY So they say we'll have blankets and beds we can open by Monday, thanks to you.
CAPTAIN HAMMER Thanks to me!
NEWSCASTERS (both) It's the perfect story. (Man) So they say! (Woman) The hero leading the way. (both) Hammer's call to glory. (Woman) Let's all be our best! (Man) Next up, who's gay?
HAMMER GROUPIES (#3) So they say he saved her life. (#1) They say she works with the homeless and doesn't eat meat. (all) We have a problem with her! (#2) This is his hair!
CAPTAIN HAMMER This is so nice. I just might sleep with the same girl twice. They say it's better the second time, they say you get to do the weird stuff.
HAMMER GROUPIES We do the weird stuff!
PENNY This is perfect for me, so they say. I guess he's pretty OK. After years of stormy sailing have I finally found the bay?
MOIST [He's still not picking up.]
DR HORRIBLE and PENNY There's no happy ending, so they say.
DR HORRIBLE Not for me anyway.
PENNY Should I stop pretending
DR HORRIBLE Stop pretending, take a chance you build a brand new day.
PENNY Or is this a brand new day?
HAMMER GROUPIES (#2) This is his dry-cleaning bill! (all) Four sweater-vests!