Murphy, Murphy, darling dear I long for you now night and day Your pain was my pleasure, your sorrow my joy I feel now I've lost you to health and good cheer
Darcy, when I met you I was five years too young A boy beyond his age, or so I'd tell someone Anyone who'd listen and a few who couldn't care Still I welcomed you with open arms, my love I did share
Darcy, Darcy darling dear, You left me dying, crying there In whiskey, gin, and pints of beer I fell for you my darling dear
You shut me off and you showed me the door But you always came crawling back begging me for more I showed you kindness, a stool, and a tab Then you poured me my pain in a dirty glass (Yeah, you left him bloody, battered, penniless, and poor) You know, I often stopped and wondered how you made it through my door With my brother's new non-duplicate registry ID Well you bit off more than you could chew the first day you met me.
You weren't the first to court me mister you won't be the last Oh, I'm sure I wasn't honey, I know all about your past Listen to the big shot with his pager on call You spent most of those nights in my bathroom stall (Yeah, you got him high, but you left him low) Mind your own business, boy, how was I to know That he was just a fiend and a no-good cheat Well it's all in the past bitch 'cause now I've got it beat.