Everybody's fucking but me
I just can't seem to get laid
Some girls even ball two or three
And then they just seem to trade
I can't laid
A dazzling urbanite like me
And though it's well made
My pussy's useful only when I pee
Everybody's fucking but me
I'm dying of terminal lust
Christ it's so depressing to see
My plumbing covered with rust
My sex life is so gloomy
Even my dog won't do me
Everybody's fucking... but me
Everybody's fucking but me
I guess I just don't have no class
Lustful guys behind every tree
It's just a pain in the ass
The men just seem to duck me
I wish they'd shout \"Whoo-Hoo!\" and fuck me
Everybody's fucking... but me
Everybody's fucking... but me
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