[Dolemite] Come on over, honey And give your uncle Dolemite a kiss [*kissing sounds*] Well, what you want, baby?
[Baby] Would you tell me a story?
[Dolemite] You want me to tell you a story?
[Baby] Hell yeah!
[Other Baby] Me too!
[Dolemite] Yes honey, I'mma tell you a story About the bad-ass Eazy-E He was drinking whisky and gin at the age of three Listen and listen well He's a bad muthafu-
[Mother] Gimmie that god damn book! Here, let me read you this one Christmas in Compton It was a silent night, yes, a holy night Until Mr. Claus turned into Santa muthafuckin' Wright?
[Carolers] Deck the halls with balls of holly Fa la la la la la la la la Tis the season to be jolly....
[Verse 1: Eazy-E] Merry muthafuckin' Chrismas and a ho ho ho! While I'm riding that cot under the missle toe Now dashing through the snow In a candy red top 6-4 (hittin' them switches) Over the hills I go Laughing at this ho Nuts on rich and ring Making me feel right Oh what fun it is to know That I'm gonna get this pussy tonight
So ring them bells, ring them bells She's taking it all the way Oh what fun it is to watch her suck my dick this way, hey Ring them bells, ring them bells She's taking it all the way Oh what fun it is to nut while she's sucking my dick Oh yay!
Tis the season to get bitten Compton crime lick And I'm smoking on this shit
[Santa] Ho ho ho come sit on my face I mean, lap, and tell me what you want for Christmas Ho ho
[Menajahtwa] I want a sleigh ride A Christmas Eve stick of rum She said I slide down the chimney and I'm gonna cum A VCR on the set with nothing but porno flicks Get some Rudolph the red nose rein.. Getcha that gum like a everlastin' gobstoper ??? poppa I dig a ho Crack a dough By the nuts oh I want to be having a good time fuckin' in tha snow I made him drop to his knees Yeah you know whats up I said here's some candy canes eat'em up I send him down, they jumping down, swinging by my toes Send me some cheese, I want the candy cream and the loot I want Santa to send me a little jack horny guy I want him to shake me ?? So all on the hunt, bon appetit And a condom in a tree
[Eazy-E] All I want for Chrismas is my two front teeth My two front teeth, my two front teeth All I want for Chrismas is my two front teeth Yo wheres ya rhyme tell me buck wheat
[Buck wheat] Buck wheat is a waskal That's no Chrismas And all the toys, boys and girls Fuck ya wishes I not happy, overjoyed in this muthafucka No indo under my tree so Santa be a sucka No shit on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts When I was young I was the only kid Who had enough guts to be Good ole hearing on the East I'd stay awake just to let America know That Santa was a fake I used to believe in Saint Dick when Elvis was alive But all the fucking bullshit got played when I was five Years old, just stay young, bold writing Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath I got my two front teeth Uncle Eazy be the jeezy and Just spread me a leaf Little kids, don't cry When you find out the Santa Claus is just a fucking lie
[Eazy-E] On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me Three pounds of indo Two birds of cocaine And a A muthafuckin' K, bitch
[Hook] Eazy-E oh Eazy-E Show us how you treat those bitches
[Hook] I saw mommy fucking Eazy Claus
[Eazy-E] Close the door, little bitch I'm getting these draws