I CRUISED AROUND THE HOOD, CHILLIN, LOOKIN FOR SOME FOOD. SAW, MY REFLECTION IN A STORE - LOOKIN GOOD! I ZOOMED THE SHOP, IN, AND I SAW IT WAS FOR PETS. I WALKED INTO THE PLACE, STARTED LOOKIN FOR SOME CATS.
SUDDENLY A BLACK THING CAUGHT ONE OF MY EYES. IT WAS KINDA GREASY SO IT SHINED ON THE LIGHT. I TOOK A CLOSER LOOK AND IT SMILED LIKE THE MOON. I IMMEDIATELY FELL IN LOVE, CUZ THAT WAS MY:
COON. HE'S MY COON! COON! COON! ITS' MY COON!
BOUGHT HIM FOR A DOLLAR AND I BROUGHT HIM IN MY HOME. TAUGHT HIM TO SAY "HOLLA", DRESS HIM WITH IS AFRO COMB. SPENDING OUR TIME SITTING BY THE FIREPLACE. I PET HIM WITH A BROOMSTICK! I GIVE HIM MAYONNAISE!
ONE DAY HE LEFT. AND HE NEVER CAME BACK.
GOD, I GAVE YOU ALL I GOT, I EVEN PLEASED YOU SEXUALLY. THOUGH YOU NEVER TOLD ME TO, I FELT THE NEED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. YOU NEVA SHOWED YOUR LOVE TO ME UNLESS I GAVE YOU COCAINE. I GAVE YOU TOO MUCH CRACK AND NOW YOU'RE GONE, YOU'RE FUCKING GONE!
THIS IS MY BUM! THIS IS MY BUM! WHERE IS MY BUM! I MISS MY BUM! I MISS MY BUM!