Let’s pretend Marshall Mathers never picked up a pen Let’s pretend things would’ve been no different Pretend he procrastinated, had no motivation Pretend he just made excuses that were so paper-thin They could blow ‘way with the wind Marshall, you’re never gonna make it Makes no sense to play the game, ain’t no way that you’ll win Pretend he just stayed outside all day and played with his friends Pretend he even had a friend to say was his friend And it wasn’t time to move and schools weren’t changin’ again He wasn’t socially awkward and just strange as a kid He had a father and his mother wasn’t crazy as shit And he never dreamed that he could rip stadiums And just lazy as shit Fuck a talent show and a gymnasium, bitch You won’t amount to shit, quit daydreamin’, kid You need to get your cranium checked You’re thinkin’ like an alien, it just ain’t realistic Now pretend that they ain’t just make him angry with this shit And there was no one he could And his alarm went off to wake him But he didn’t make it to the Rap Olympics Slept through his plane and he missed it He’s gon’ have a hard time explaining to Hailie and Laney These food stamps and this WIC shit ‘Cause he never risked shit, he hoped and he wished it But it didn’t fall in his lap, so he ain’t even here He pretends that