[Girl as Dina Rae:] Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh what fun it is to ride From Detroit to East L.A.
[Bob Rivers as Eminem:] Is this a white Christmas? Hell no, my man I'm leaving blood in the snow and smacking fat men You mean Santa, that boy's a bitch He caught my mom “Christmas cheatin'� tryin' to give her kiss Fo' real he's no joke, that guy don't play He tried to ride way more than a one-horse-sleigh Laughing all the way, but he's not laughing today Jingle more than his bells, even the elves with pay COME CHRISTMAS EVE, OLD NICK'S A GONNER! We'll be snacking on deer, EATIN' Blitzen and Donor Not a question of when, not even a maybe Have a drunk Mrs. Clause saying, “Jizzlin' Baby!� Give a new meaning to “ho, ho, ho� Shake that ass girl, bump your booty in the snow So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll We'll be strippin' that sleigh and leave you [in the] cold
[Girl as Dina Rae:] Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh what fun it is to ride From Detroit to East L.A.
[Bob Rivers as Eminem:] Playing reindeer games, hell yeah my friend Grab Rudolph's horns, see how far they bend When the snow turns bad, hand jacks off in bed Back out to the woods with his faggy elf friend Oh, Santa Claus did molest me last night In fact, could have me listed as ‘naughty' twice Not cuz' of the fight, or the Christmas gift hype, Because of the nog, I left on his wife It's time for old nick to move and retire Or we roast his nuts on a bigass fire Yes I'm that bad, Yes, I'm that cruel I mean your ass is huge, lose weight, for real dude All the cookies and milk, simply quite quick I mean, when's the last time you've seen your dick I don't mean to throw a fit and I'm not one to bitch But every year I get underwear, socks, and shit
[Girl as Dina Rae:] (Bob Rivers as Eminem:) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh what fun it is to ride Grab your coat, you'll be okay in LA (yo) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a cop drop Chevrolet, hey (yo, yo) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh what fun it is to ride Grab your coat, you'll be okay in LA