Yo.. yo! (* Eminem hachs up spit *) Mic check.. (My dick!) Testing.. one, two (* Eminem hach-spits on mic *) Ffff-fuck.. (My dick!) My nuts..
My attitude is worse than NWA's was I'll battle you over stupid shit and diss people Who ain't have shit to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!) You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin, Puffy is good, (HEY!) but Slim Shady is for the children! (WAIT!) I look at my life in a new light -- fuck it Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- fuck what you like You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway I'm just tryin to get my porno career started Every place and event.. +Been There, Done That+ Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went (* zipper sound *) Come on, let's go! Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?) Don't give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me) And make em come to your basement and listen (you're gonna fuckin check this out) Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus And put yours on the owner's table (here listen!) Lesson Four: 'Know you heard this before' Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure! Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed? Get the whitest A&R you can find Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't Givin you shit bitch - don't even bother askin me (get away from me) Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin Cause I'm always shittin when I'm rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!) Got a blowjob from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth My balls broke both of her collarbones (OWW!) Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah (It's all about me..) Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea (You're a dick!) And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fuckin Aaliyah (What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin a bath Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh White trash -- fuckin your wife in the ass (Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!) While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass
So if I hurt your self-esteem And you get dissed too bad [Yo why you diss me?] You know I just be sayin that to get you mad And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had [A big dick!] You know I just be sayin that to get you mad I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad! You know I just be sayin that to get you mad He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad! [Nurse! Nurse!] You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade In your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (* car peels out *) Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS Blood drippin from it, rippin your stomach like a paper mache You talk a lotta shit, but you was never ill though I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh (MOOOOO!) Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half Wagin wars, went on stage and sprayed Cage with +Agent Orange+ And wiped my ass with his page in Source (Here!) The demon is here, steamin this year I rip [*Mystikal's*] voicebox out, scream in his ear (AHHHHHH!) It's not a gimmick bitch, it's an image I live it Give a fuck? I