May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please, will the real slim shady please stand up, I repeat will the real slim shady please stand up .....we're gonna have a problem here.........
(Verse 1) Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door and started whoopin her ass worse than before they first were divorced throwing her over furniture (aaaaaaah) It's the return of the... "awww..wait, no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" and Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead he's locked in my basement feminist women love eminem chicka chicka chicka slim shady, "I'm sick of him, look it him walkin around, grabbin his you know what flippin' to you know who" "yeah, but he's so cute though" yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose but no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh) sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose but can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose My bum is on your lips, My bum is on your lips and if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss and that's the message that we deliver to little kids and expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is of course they're gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit 4th grade they got the discovery channel, dont they? we ain't nothing but mammals well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantelopes but if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope (eww) but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote women wave your pantehose, sing the chorus and it goes........
(Chorus) I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
(Verse 2) Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too you think I give a damn about a grammy half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me "but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird" why? so you guys can just lie to get me here so you can sit me here next to Britney Spears bullshit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs, so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear em argue over who she gave head to first little bitch, put me on blast on MTV "yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee hee" I should download her audio on MP3 and show the whole world how you gave eminem VD (aaaaaah) I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you and there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me......
(Chorus) Cause Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating so won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating so wont the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
(Verse 3) I'm like a head trip to listen to cause I'm only giving you things you joke about with your friends inside you livin' room the only difference is I got the balls to say it