[Intro] You fucking c... Pick up the goddamn phone
[Verse 1] Bitch, where the fuck were you Tuesday? With who you say? I wasn't at the studio bitch, what'd you do screw Dre? You went there looking for me, ooh, that excuse is too lame Keep playing me you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg You fake, lying slut you never told me you knew Drake Que, Lupe? You want to lose two legs? You try to flip this on me? If I spent more time with you You say \"Okay, yeah, I'm cuckoo, hey?\" Well, screw you And I’d be the third person who screwed you today Oh, four? Dre, Drake, Lupe? Oh touché You were too two-faced for me Thought you was my number one, true blue ace but you ain't And I can see you and you make that little boo-boo face Cause I'm hanging up this phone boo, you make my fucking Bluetooth ache You feeling blue too late, go smurf yourself You make me wanna smurfin' puke blue Kool Aid Here's what you say to someone you hate
[Hook] My life will be so much better If you just dropped dead I was laying in bed last night thinking And this thought just popped in my head And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier If you dropped dead? I would feel so much better
[Verse 2] Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink Hop on the freeway trying to get some time alone and just think Then the cops pulled me over but they let me go Cause I told 'em I'm only driving drunk, cause that bitch drove me to drink I'm back on my fuck hoes, but a whole new hatred for blondes But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby come on Excuse the pun but bitch you're such a broad statement And I am channeling my anger through every single station it's on Cause a woman broke my he-art, I say he-art Cause you ripped it in two pa-arts, and threw it in the garbage Who do you think you are, bitch? Guess it's time for me To get the dust off and pick myself up off the carpet But I'll never say the L-word again, I L-L-L-L... Lesbian! Ahh, I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest My life would be so much better if you just
[Hook]
[Bridge] Cause you told me, you love me, forever, bitch, that was a lie Now I never, wanted someone, to die, so bad in my fucking life But fuck it, there’s other fish in the sea
[Verse 3] And I'mma have a whale of a time Being a single sailor for the night, bitch on a scale of, 1 to 10 Shit, I must be the holy grail of, catches Ho, I got an Oscar attached to my fucking name, great I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor made for me Say fuck it kick some shots back, get hammered and nail her These bitches tryna get attached but they're failing to latch onto the tail Of my bumper to scratch them with the back of my trailer Like I'm itchin' to get hitched, yeah, I'm rich as a bitch But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch Bitch you complain when you listen to this But you still throw yourself at me, that's what I call pitchin' a bitch That's why I'm swinging at this chicks on sight Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike So all that love shit is null and void, bitch I'm a droid I avoid Cupid stupid wasn't for blowjobs you'd be unemployed Oi-oi-oi, man oh man, you boy-boy-boy's getting sick of these girls-girls-girls Oink-oink-oink, you fucking pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink I got 99 problems and the bitch ain't one She's all 99 of 'em I need a machine gun I take 'em all out I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest Have a heart attack and just drop dead, and I'mma throw a fucking party after this, cause
[Hook]
[Outro] I'm just playing bitch, you know I love you