All along guardian you don't exist lack of faith is \"in\" again. Fall alone is setting in. She stayed cold and left me dead now its driven in me head that everything must end, that every book must close. But nobody forgets all forced sensations, you know just won't last. A fow relations, all seem to grow crass; uninspired and far away from who I need to be. All so disappointing. Hear with nothing I will leave, the same. This path I'm on disrupts all function. No discern no hope for calm. Inner dysfunction. I've never felt so alone, never felt so disconnected from someone yet helping in their the all struggling to feel the things that just cannot be forced. Desperation takes its toll. Surrenders to them all. Start again so far from here, knowing the truth, that all along you were just holding me down, pulling me down, keeping me down