Steward: Coffee! Passenger: No. thanks. (The passenger closes the door, and continues reading. The waiter opens the door.) Waiter: Seats for dinner! Passenger: No, thanks. (The passenger closes the door again, and continues reading. The ticket inspector opens the door.) Inspector: Tickets! Passenger: No, thanks. Inspector: Pardon? Passenger: I don't want a ticket, thank you. Inspector: I'm not selling tickets, sir. Passenger: No? Inspector: No, I want to see your ticket. Passenger: Oh, I haven't got a ticket. Inspector: You haven't got a ticket? Passenger: No. I never buy a ticket. Inspector: Why not? Passenger: Well, they are very expensive, you know. Inspector: Sir, you're travelling on a train. When people travel on a train, they always buy a ticket. Passenger: Er Inspector: And this is a first-class compartment. Passenger: Yes, it is very nice, isn't it? Inspector: No, sir. I mean: This is a firstclass compartment. When people travel in a first-class compartment, they always buy a first-class ticket. (They look at each other for a moment.) Passenger: No, they don't. Inspector: What? Passenger: A lot of people don't buy tickets. The Queen doesn't buy a ticket, does she' Eh? Eh? Inspector: No, sir, but she's a famous person. Passenger: And what about you? Where's yours? Inspector: Mine? Passenger: Yes, yours. Your ticket. Have you got a ticket? Inspector: Me, sir? Passenger: Yes, you. Inspector: No, I haven't got a ticket. Passenger: Ooh, are you a famous person? Inspector: (Flattered) Famous? Well, not very (Back to normal) Sir, I am a ticket inspector. I inspect tickets. Are you going to show me your ticket? Passenger: No, I haven't got a ticket. Inspector see. (The ticket inspector puts his hand into his pocket.) Passenger: 'What are you going to do? Inspector: I'm going to write your name in my book. Passenger: Oh Inspector: What is your name, sir? Passenger: Mickey Mouse, (The inspector begins to write.) Inspector: Mickey Passenger: Mouse. M-O-U-S-E. (The inspector stops writing.) Inspector: Your name, sir? Passenger: Karl Marx? William Shakespeare? Charles Dickens? Inspector: I see, sir. Well, if you're not going to tell me your name, please leave the train, Passenger: Pardon? Inspector: Leave the train. Passenger: I can't. Inspector: You can't what? Passenger: I can't leave the train. Inspector: Why not? Passenger: It's moving, Inspector: Not now, sir. At the next station. Passenger: Oh. Inspector: It's in the book, sir. When you travel by train, you buy a ticket, and if you don't buy a ticket, you Passenger-Inspector: leave the train. Inspector: Here we are, sir. We're coming to a station. Please leave the train now. Passenger: Now? Inspector: Yes, sir. I'm sorry, but Passenger: Oh, that's OK. Inspector: it's in the book, and what did you say? Passenger: I said: That's OK.' Inspector: OK? Passenger: Yes, this is my station. Goodbye. http://song5.ru
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