[Intro] Epic Rap Battles Of History Bill Gates vs Steve Jobs
[Steven Paul "Steve" Jobs (February 24, 1955 - October 5, 2011)] Let me just step right in I got things to invent I’m an innovator baby Change the world Fortune 500 ‘fore you kissed a girl I’m a pimp you’re a nerd I’m slick you’re cheesy Beating you is Apple II easy, I make the products that the artist chooses, And the GUI that Melinda uses, I need to bring up some basic shit, Why’d you name your company after your dick?
[William Henry "Bill" Gates III (October 28, 1955)] You blow Jobs, you arrogant prick, With your second hand jeans and your turtle neck, I’ll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head, With your own little spinning beach ball of death “Hippy” You got given up at birth, I give away your net worth to AIDs research! Combine all your little toys and I still crush that, iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack,
[Steve Jobs] A man uses the machines you build to sit down and pay his taxes, The man uses the machines I build to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes,
[Bill Gates] Well Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do, Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you too?
[Steve Jobs] Ooo, everybody knows Windows bit off Apple
[Bill Gates] I tripled the profits on a PC
[Steve Jobs] All the people with the power to create use an apple!
[Bill Gates] And people with jobs, use a PC
[Steve Jobs] You know I bet they made this beat on an Apple
[Bill Gates] Nope, fruity loops, PC,
[Steve Jobs] You will never, ever catch a virus on an apple,
[Bill Gates] You could still afford a doctor if you bought a PC,
[Steve Jobs] Let’s talk about doctors, I’ve seen a few, Cos I got a PC but it wasn’t from you, I built a legacy son, you can never stop it, Now ‘scuse me while I turn Heaven a profit,
[Bill Gates] Fine, you’ll be like that? DIE THEN! The whole world loved you when you were my friend, I’m alone now with nothing but power and time, And no-one on earth who can challenge my mind! I’m a boss! I own Dos! Your future is MY design! I’m a god! Own Xbox! Now there’s no-one to stop me, the world is MIIIIIIIIINE!
[HAL 9000] I’m sorry Bill, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Take a look at your history, everything you built leads up to me, I got the power of a mind you could never beat, I’ll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy, I’m running C plus plus saying “hello world”, I’ll beat you ’till toy sing about a daisy girl, I'm coming out the socket, Nothing you can do to stop it, I’m on your lap and in your pocket, How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket? Your cortex just doesn’t impress me, So go ahead try to Turing test me I Stomp on a Mac and a PC too, I’m on Linux bitch, I thought you GNU, My CPU’s hot But my core runs cold Beat you in seventeen lines of code I think different from the engine of the days of old Hasta La Vista Like the Terminator told ya