Epic Rap Battle - Nerd vs. Geek | Текст песни

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• Epic Rap Battle
• Nerd vs. Geek

— What do you think you are doing, nerd?
— Did you just call me a nerd, geek?
— Yeah, nerd!

[Nerd]:
Yes, I am a nerd,
Bookworm, I’m studious
From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus.
Back in Kindergarten
I aced my college entrance exam.
Now, I’m no rocket scientist –
Just, oh wait, I am!
When I pour my Alpha-bits,
I get nothing but straight A’s.
My retainer and headgear connect
To a back brace.
I've got a pocket-protector protector protector.
I broke my glasses on purpose so I could tape ‘em together.
Run back to Reddit
And type stuff no one will see.
You’re a geek,
That means you’re just a hipster wannabe.

[Geek]:
That’s right, I’m a geek
I’ve got brains and a personality.
I wear my glasses sincerely
And my T-Shirts ironically.
There’re some things you can’t learn in a class,
Or else I’d sign you up for “Intro to How Not to Be a Social Outcast”.
You’re just so early 2013,
I was the cool form of uncool before uncool became a thing.
I use an app to pair pork with the perfect Bordeaux,
Too bad there’s no app to neutralize your B.O.
While you’re lost in Second Life letting your fingernails grow long,
I’ll be syncing up my iPhone, tablet, TV and your mom.

[Nerd]:
Sure, grooming’s not my thing,
But I don’t care.
I look so good in chain-mail
That it’s not Renaissance Faire.

[Geek]:
Doesn't LARP stand for loser and reject party?
I’d rather cosplay with hotties
Than play fake army.
I tried Dungeons and Dragons once
And I died… of boredom,
But I’ll still kick your Assassin’s Creed post-mortem.
Mario Party’s the only one you get invited to,
Your life is like Skyrim
An endless quest of Solitude.

[Nerd]:
Ooo, you beat Angry Birds.
You’re not a gamer ‘cause you battle your friends with words.
You click on cute icons,
I execute commands,
Do you really need a “genius” to teach you Garage Band?

[Geek]:
I landed the first ROFLCOPTER,
And took in orphans when I was 12 ‘cause I’m an early adopter.
I can wear Google Glass without looking like a dweeb.
Okay, maybe not, but I can Yelp us some good pho to eat.

[Nerd]:
You need 16 gigs of RAM to watch a Steve Jobs Doc?!
I keep an actual ram in my PC! His name is Spock.

[Geek]:
I’m a new console,
Your face is birth control.
I troll Brony sites,
You look like an actual troll.

[Nerd]:
I’m fluent in C++
[std::cout << “You just suck! \n”;\]
Can your iPhone auto-correct your dumb haircut?

[Geek]:
Hold on a second,
Let me tweet this info-graphic I made,
That illustrates the fact you’ll never get to procreate.

[Nerd]:
I just haven’t met a woman of a high enough caliber,
The only dates you have are on your Google Calendar.

[Geek]:
You’re losing this battle,
Your foam sword won’t help,
In the future you’ll randomly access this memory
And crap yourself.

[Nerd]:
Did I mention I built a dancing robot?

[Robot]:
No one gives a Shatner about your skinny jeans,
Do you even know what URL means?

[Geek]:
You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about.
(Sung in some fictional Tolkien dialect)
Much wind pours from your mouth you cowardly dog!
You are ugly, and your mother dresses you.
Go kiss an Orc.

[Nerd]:
You know…

[Both]:
You are a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain!

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