Epic Rap Battles of History - Adam vs Eve | Текст песни

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• Epic Rap Battles of History
• Adam vs Eve

"Adam vs Eve"

[Eve]:
This battle's gonna end
Like every argument does
With you kissing my ass
And begging me for a rub.
I made a map mother fucker
And I'm reading it too
Gives me some specific directions
How to fuck with you.
I know that you like to think
You're so macho
But you smell like
Ball sacs and nachos.
I work
While you and your boyfriend Steve
Drink and play sports
In a fantasy league.
You're as sharp as a stick
That I rub on my lips
So go ahead take a shot.
I'm sure that you'll miss
Like a laundry, the toilet, the grocery list
If you'd stop fucking up
I wouldn't have to get pissed.
[Adam]:
My life was fine 'til you had to
Come along and wreck it.
Could you please just shut your face
For ten seconds?
You cry about everything
But can't decide what you want
I'm hungry, I'm fat, I'm cold, I'm hot.
You call it complex but yo I'd call you a mess.
You take to hours to cum three more to get dressed.
You got a lotion for this, you got a cream for that
Got you any perfume that smells like
Get the fuck off my back?
When things are good they're great
And it's like I'm dreaming until your junk starts bleeding
And you turn to a demon!
It ain't Summer Eve don't try to play me like a douche
You wanna bite on my fruit
Well you can swallow the truth.
[Eve]:
Don't even bring up swallow
The first man on Earth ain't tough act to follow
One pump chump and you're hung like a weasel
Ditch the fig leaf get yourself a pine needle.
You want alone time? Have it in fact
Suck ypur own dick and shave your own back,
That apple's the best thing I bit so far
Now I see how much of a dick you are.
[Adam]:
I wasn't listening
Are you still flapping those lips?
I was just thinking yo did I give up a rib for this?
Woman I just don't know what your problem is
All I know is you're acting
Like a colossal BITCH!
I'm sorry.
[Eve]:
Sorry too.
DON'T even think about it!
[Adam]:
OK, that's fine...

vk.com/epicrapbattles
Text:painkiller959

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