Epic-Rap-Battles-of-History-Season-2-Moses-vs-Santa-Claus-feat-Snoop-Dogg---Single - Epic-Rap-Battle | Текст песни

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• Epic-Rap-Battles-of-History-Season-2-Moses-vs-Santa-Claus-feat-Snoop-Dogg---Single
• Epic-Rap-Battle

Santa Claus: Sweet robes, Obi
Wan-too many days in the sun
Stop preaching, homie.
Teach your flock to covet some fun!
I bring joy every year.
Man, I represent cheer
You represent sandals and a scraggly beard
I'm from the North Pole.
That's why my rhymes are so cold
I spit diamonds,
but I'm serving up some fresh coal
You've been a naughty boy.
You brought a plague of frogs
You'd best arrest yourself;
you broke your own law!
Or was there something in Rule Six
I didn't understand?
My list says, "Killed Egyptian dude,
buried him in sand"
I read your book.
You got a strict religion
No bacon?
But mandatory circumcision?
I'm a jolly bowl a jelly,
giving holiday presents
But all the chosen people
ever get for Christmas is jealous!
Moses: When I was high up on the mountain, God revealed the truths of the Earth But he never mentioned a fat-ass Papa Smurf It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat ass You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass You need to stop breakin into houses and creepin' and peepin' On naughty kids while they sleepin' and keep your hands off my stocking Don't you "Ho Ho" me I'll split your ass in half like I did the Red Sea You ain't a saint, you a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go
Elves: We ain't slaves!
All that sand turned your brain to mush!
Claus: I think you need to stop smokin'
all that burnin' bush
Elves: Yeah, we're magical workers, man!
We hang with reindeers
Yo, here's a GPS!
Who gets lost for forty years?
Claus: You're a glorified secretary,
so write this down
Elves: Begat deez nutz
Claus: Santa Claus is comin' to town
Moses: So much drama in the Israe-L B.C. It's kinda hard talking directly to the G O single D Hand me my chisel, I got a new commandizzle for y'all Thou shalt not let your children sit on a grown man's lap at the mall I'll beat you ten times before the bread can rise, you dummy And walk of into the land of my milk and honies