Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock (instrumental)
Steven Spielberg: Picture a child sitting next to a projector Learning from your films to become a much better director Now picture a three-billion-dollar dream machine Who can blockbust all over your crop duster seeds Try to duel with me Alfred, ya must be Psycho I'll bring back Jaws, and take a bite of your lifeboat I'm always so on top of my game, I get the Vertigo My jet's in the terminal waiting for me to murder ya I rock the Academy and the DGA You rock as many Oscars as that schelp Michael Bay Tiger filling up those jowls with three steaks and soufflé Check the trade, see me amplitude my next big play I produced cartoons and made games for all ages You produced Jimmy Stewart making one of two faces Maybe next time I visit, you'll be a bit more gracious Now kiss my full moon and just bask in my greatness
Alfred Hitchcock: That was a Close Encounter of the Turd Kind But there won't be a pretty ending this time Half your billions should go to John Williams Now brace yourself as I reveal my brilliance I'm the master, of suspense, so intense No defense against Hitchcock once he presents My scores are enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance You're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers Come on, fish puppets and Muppets to start our fears up I squeezed screams out of chocolate syrup I'm the best mamma-jamma ever stood behind a camera Damage batterers and haunt you like the last Indiana
Quentin Tarantino: Cut! Get me a Tylenol, stop rhyming, y'all Alfred, you got no style dawg, I'm the king of dialogue There's only one movie I know you're from And I've seen more blood in the shower when I stubbed my toe in one You tried to fight in World War One but couldn't do that The British Army wouldn't let you join cause you were too fat Look it up, it's a true fact, Wikipedia that Now allow me to attack Steven the hack You're the War of the Worlds of failures when I label you That looked like some sell-out bullshit Michael Bay would do Ask anybody "What's your favorite Sam Jackson part?" No one's gonna say "What's his name from Jurassic Park?" Scripts that I write ain't the, cleanest (fuck!) But when I grip mics I'm the, meanest (dick!) Quentin Tarantino is a, genius A bad motherfucker from the wallet to the penis
Stanley Kubrick: Genius is a powerful word, but there's no reason to use it 'Less you're talking about the Kubrick, then there's really nothing to it Every thing I do is visionary Every single frame a painting made exactly how I wanna make it Do another take and get it right, 127 times I'll make you learn to love me, I'm the boss, drop ultraviolet rhymes Like Clockwork, make you all hurt Beat Spielberg the Color Purple AI is the worst waste of potential since the Ninja Turtles
Michael Bay: That's enough, I've heard enough crap from all of you Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do? I swoop low with a telephoto, no Bruckheimer, I work solo If there's one thing I've learned, bitch, this game is about motherfucking money I make that dollar, y'all, motherfucking money Even made Mark Wahlberg make some motherfucking money I set up shop and got a few drops of that got milk money Rose to the Rock, now I got that socks made of silk money I ain't got that guilt money, I don't give a fuck I take my checks to the bank and I sign 'em with my nuts I give the people what they love, while the critics say I'm evil Got no time to read reviews while I'm working on the sequel Got a gift from above and the eyes of an eagle When it comes to blowing up, no director is my equal