Epic Rap Battles of History - Zeus vs Thor | Текст песни

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• Epic Rap Battles of History
• Zeus vs Thor

Zeus

How dare you challenge my immortal throne?
I'm the father of the gods, put your daddy on the phone.
Maybe Odin could beg me for a truce, cause when Zeus lets loose,
I'll put your cross-dressing neck in a noose.
I'm like Medusa, stone a motherfucka if he looks at me wrong
I'm a bull getting bitches with my swan song
I'm on point like Poseidon's trident
Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants

Thor

Allow Thor to retort, you shape-shifting rapist
And get a taste of this Scandinavian greatness
Brought forth by my rage and thunderstorm force
Cause I don't get nice, I get Norse (Norse)
Valhalla at your boy and we'll fight it out
But keep your Asgard up, I Ragnarök the house
You tongue kissed your sister, that's grosser than a gorgon
I'm the thunder down under; nailing Natalie Portman
Who would ever worship someone as abusive as Zeus is?
You're ruthless to humans, your crew is like the clash of the douches
Ruling over the Greeks, a people weak and frightened
I'd spit in your face but you'd probably like it

Zeus

Only a mindless fool would knock the fathers of philosophy
My Greeks built the bedrock of democracy!
With astronomy, they charted out the movements of my kin
All the pimps on Mount Olympus and me the Kingpin!
Let this sink in, I'm about to rain on your parade
Itchy triggerfinger quicker with the bolts than Usain
You're history, I'll be the first to put it in writing
MC Hammer just got struck twice by Greece Lightning

Thor

Rain, old man? This is hardly a drizzle
You couldn't give the women in my homeland the sniffles
You can keep your astronomers, I'll sail with the conquerers
For thousands of kilometers, discovering the continents
I'm Alpha dog dominant, you can't beat me
I will drop you like Greece's GDP
Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades
Now make like your daddy and swallow my babies

Zeus

You think the underworld scares the ruler of the skies?
You're joking! Loki must have written your lines
By the time I've finished ripping you with wits and rhymes
You'll need a lighter for your ship 'cause a viking just died

Thor

Your glory days are over, the oracle should have told ya
I'll kick your wrinkly dick back in your toga like "opa"!
Here, take these drachma for your eyes
When you get to River Styx, tell your three headed bitch I say hi (woof!)