Epic Rap Battles of Pony - Shining Armor vs. Princess Cadence | Текст песни

• Тексты песен
• Epic Rap Battles of Pony
• Shining Armor vs. Princess Cadence

This battle's gonna end like every argument does.

With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub.

I made a map, motherfucker, and I'm reading it too.

Gives me specific directions on how to fuck with you!

I know that you like to think you're so macho.

But you smell like ball sacs and nachos!

I work while you and your boyfriend Steve.

Drink and play sports in a fantasy league!

You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips.

So go ahead, take a shot. I'm sure that you'll miss!

Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list.

If you stopped fucking up, I wouldn't have to get pissed!

Adam:
My life was fine 'til you had to come along and wreck it.

Could you please just shut your face for ten seconds?

You cry about everything but can't decide what you want!

"I'm hungry", "I'm fat", "I'm cold", "I'm hot".

You call it complex, but yo I'd call you a mess.

You take two hours to cum, three more to get dressed!

You got a lotion for this. You got a cream for that.

Got any perfume that smells like "Get the fuck off my back!"

When things are good, they're great, and it's like I'm dreaming.

Until your junk starts bleeding and you turn into a demon!

It ain't Summer Eve, don't try to play me like a douche.

You want a bite of my fruit? Well you can swallow the truth!

Eve:
Don't. Even. Bring up swallow!

The first man on Earth ain't a tough act to follow!

One pump, chump, and you're hung like a weasel.

(Pfft) Ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle!

You want alone time? Have it!

In fact, suck your own dick, and shave your own back!

That apple's the best thing I bit so far!

Now I see how much of a dick you are!

Adam:
I wasn't listening. Are you still flapping those lips?

I was just thinking, yo, did I give up a rib for this?

Woman, I just don't know what your problem is.

All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch!