Rasputin vs Stalin. Epic Rap Battles of History Season 2 finale.
Rasputin:
Cool mustache, Wario Try messing with the mad monk, you'll be sorry, yo How many dictators does it take To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states? It's a disgrace what you did to your own people Yo daddy beat you like a dog and now you're evil You're from Georgia, sweet Georgia, And history books unfold ya As a messed up motha fucka bent in the mind Who built a superpower but he paid the price With the endless destruction of Russian lives If you're the man of steel, I spit kryptonite! Big dick mystic, known to hypnotize I can end you with a whisper to your wife!
Stalin:
Look into my eyes, you perverted witch See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch! You think I give a fuck about my wife? My own son got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life! You got off easy when they pickled that goose cock I'll leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot Your whole family, shot! All your wizard friends, shot! Anyone who sold you pierogi, shot! Starve you for days till you waste away I even crushed motherfuckers when I'm laid in state Pride of Lenin, took Trotsky out of the picture Dropped a hammer on you harder than I bitch-slapped Hitler
Lenin:
I have no pride for you Who ruined everything my revolution was doing To stop the Bourgeoisie I fought the bondage of classes, the proletariat masses Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of yo asses Let me start with you there, Frankenstein Looking like something out of R.L. Stine It's hip-hop chowder, red over white Cause the Tsar's wife can't do shit tonight And Joseph, you were supposed to be my right-hand man But your loyalty shriveled up like your right hand, man! Our whole future was bright, you let your heart grow dark And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx!
Gorbachev:
Knock knock knock knock Did somebody say birth marks? Yo, I'm the host with the most glasnost Assholes made a mess and the war got cold Shook hands with both Ronald's, Reagan and McDonalds, no doubt If your name end with "in", time to get out! I have the balls to let Barynshnikov dance, player! Tore down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man, oh yeah! You two need yoga, you need to shower And you all need to learn how to handle real power!
Putin:
Did somebody say real power? Дa, you want to mess with me I spit hot borsch when I'm crushing these beats Blow it up like a tuba while I'm balling in Cuba Doing judo moves and schooling every Communist сука I'm a president in my prime, my enemies don't distract me The last man who attacked me lived a half-life so Comrade, come at me You don't know what you're doing, when you try to bust a rhyme against a man like Putin You'll find that the ex-KGB is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!