I needed to make an appointment with a doctor so I called my health plan’s phone number for new patients. Before I could schedule my appointment, I had to listen to several recorded messages to be routed to the right medical office. The recording said to stay on the line for assistance. Clerk: Hello, Western Medical Group. Damien: Hello, I’d like to make an appointment with Dr. Gupta. Clerk: Are you a new patient or a returning patient? Damien: I’m a new patient. Clerk: Who referred you to Dr. Gupta? Damien: No one. One of the health benefits of my plan is that I can self-refer to some specialists. Clerk: What is the name of your plan and your medical record number? Damien: It’s Waiser and my medical record number is 23456789. Clerk: It looks like Dr. Gupta is booked up for the next three weeks. She has an opening on March 2nd, at 4:30 p.m. Damien: I was hoping to get an early morning appointment. Clerk: The next morning appointment won’t be until March 18th, at 11:00. You’ll need to check in at 10:45 to fill out paperwork. Should I put you down for that? Damien: Is it possible to get an even earlier appointment? Clerk: Dr. Gupta doesn’t begin seeing patients until 10:30. Damien: 10:30? Isn’t that pretty late? Clerk: Dr. Gupta likes to play golf in the mornings. Damien: Why do you think I want an early morning appointment? Doesn’t she know that some of her patients prefer late-morning golf?