I had to fly from Minneapolis to Los Angeles recently, and like most travelers, I've almost memorized the standard safety announcement made by the flight attendants. It goes something like this:
Good afternoon and welcome to Flight 345, service to Los Angeles International Airport. We appreciate your full attention to this important safety announcement. This 747 aircraft is equipped with four emergency exits, two in the front of the plane and two in the aft. Be sure to identify the nearest exit to you, which may be behind you. If the plane should lose pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from the compartment above your seat. Reach up, pull down on the mask until the tubing is fully extended. Place the mask over your nose and mouth, secure it with the elastic band and breathe normally.
Passenger seat cushions on this aircraft may be used as a flotation device and detailed instructions may be found on the safety information card in the seat pocket in front of you. Smoking is not permitted at any time while on board this aircraft. Also, federal law prohibits tampering, disabling, or destroying these detectors in the lavatories. Your compliance with all crew member instructions, all placards, and lighted seat belt and no smoking signs is required.
The following electronic devices may not be used during takeoff or landing: portable compact disk players, portable computers, and cellular phones which should be in the off position and stowed. Now in preparation for takeoff, please fasten your seatbelt, return your seatback and tray tables to the full upright and locked position. Your carry-on luggage must be stowed in the overhead compartments or underneath the seat in front of you. On behalf of all Mar Vista Airline employees, we'd like to thank you for selecting us today. We hope you enjoy your flight.