Can you feel the weight of emptiness Crashing down the mortal coils of always Tearing down the frail link between what you strive for And what you must endure in your everyday life Breaking the whole of your conceptions Leaving you shattered and divided Everything stands still and hope subsides
Another anchor point has been disabled today… Everything which used to distract my mind off the void of existence Was tore down and trampled, as I watched this fragile structure brought to dust Which was unconsciously being built behind my back By the need we all have, to reduce the time between brutal events Which force yourself to stop your actions And look at your life, as being dispirited and watching Your evolution at a third person view, without any consolation, pride of achievement, or highlights of nostalgic events. Just witnessing your empty self, pouring another piece of joy Feeling the balance of the self, reverting one step back in negativity Wondering where the fuck you still harvest the strength To get up every countless mornings To feed off illusions of fulfillment, growing closer to Ether…
I don't think you really understand how I feel I'm daily wondering how it would feel to throw myself in front of a car Or disfiguring a random person I'm so fucking tired of this life. If you know me and care about me Please heal me once and for all, with a shotgun blast in the head I'm too weak to do it myself; it unfortunately seems there's no alternate route
But something within just stopped to bleed A cute girl smiled and waved at me How futile can humanity be sometimes, will never cease to amaze me The ability we have to alternate from a state of complete existential turmoil And revert back to a state, where animal instincts Annihilates the need of the mind to free itself From recurrent negative patterns that will always resurface The minute every distraction fades away
That is my vision of hope:
An exhausting primal instinct forcing our subconscious To believe that our life is worth living