[1st child] Uncle Whitey! Uncle Whitey, could you tell us a bedtime story? [2nd child] Dat's right! We wanna hear a bedtime story! [1st child] Please! Could you tell us a bedtime story? [2nd child] Bring me some of mah Cheesy Poofs right now!
[Everlast] Once upon a time not long ago When people wore pajamas and lived life slow When laws were stern and justice stood And people were behaving' like they ought to: good There was a little boy who was misled by another lil' boy And this is what he said "Me and you, Guy, we gonna make some cash Robbing' old folks and making' the dash" They did the job, money came with ease But one couldn't stop, it's like he had a disease He robbed another and another and a sister and her brother Tried to rob a man who was a D.T. undercover The cop grabbed his arm, he started acting erratic He said, "keep still, boy, no need for static" Punched him in his belly and he gave him a slap But little did he know the lil' boy was strapped The kid pulled out a gun He said, "Why'd you hit me?" The barrel headed straight for the cop's kidney The cop got scared, the kid, he starts to figure "I'll do years if I pull this trigger" So he cold dashed and ran around the block Cop radios in to another lady cop He ran by a tree, there he saw this sister A shot for the head, he shot back but he missed her Looked 'round good in expectations So he decided he'd head for the subway stations But she was coming so he made a left He was running' top speed till he was outta breath Knocked an old man down and swore he killed him Then he made his move to an abandoned building Ran up the stairs up to the top floor Opened up the door there, guess who he saw Dave, the dope fiend shooting dope Who don't know the meaning of water nor soap He said, "I need bullets, hurry up, run" The dope fiend brought back a spanking shotgun He went outside but there was cops all over So he get into a car, it was a stolen Nova Raced up the block doing 83, crashed into a tree near university Escaped alive though the car was shattered He rat-a-tat-tatted and all the cops scattered Ran out of bullets but still had static Grabbed a pregnant lady and pulled out the automatic Pointed at her head and he said the gun was full of lead He told the cops, "back off or honey here's dead" Deep in his heart he knew he was wrong So he let the lady go and he starts to move on Sirens sounded, he seemed astounded Before long the lil' boy got surrounded He dropped the gun, so went the glory And this is the way I got to end this story He was only nineteen, in a madman's dream I saw the cops shoot the kid, I still hear him scream This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh Just another case 'bout the wrong path Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast Good night!