- ...And that, loyal S-Mart customers, is how I saved all of mankind. - ...Look who's evil now! - Lady! I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store. - Who the hell are you? - Name's Ash. Housewares! - I'll swallow your soul! - Come get some!!!
- So, do you screw-heads believe I can save you from Candarian demons now?
Well we thought you were fucking with us We thought you were a lying prick All that jive about you killing demons It just sounded like, uh, bullshit
But apparently you weren’t talking smack Cause we saw that evil chick She was going to eat us! Ax us up and then beat us ‘Til you shot her in the tits - That’s right you saved us
You saved our lives You saved me and my baby and these kids tonight You saved us all You’re the baddest motherfucker in this whole strip mall!
We thought you were a phony But now we see that you’re a hero And you saved the day Because you blew that bitch away
Well I told you I could kill these demons And none of you believed me That’s why you’re merely customers While I’m the S-Mart employee
Cause I’ll kill what looks even slightly evil Who knows who the next victim will be? - Not me! Cause I shoot - Shoot! - And kill - Kill! - And saw - Until! We need a clean up on aisle three!
You are the man! - I bitch slap evil with my one good hand You’re our hero - I shit down Deadites like they owe me dough I saw that demon try to ruin your shopping day So I grabbed my twelve gage and I blew her away! - Blew that bitch away
We used to fuckin’ hate you and your lyin’ ways But now we changed our minds and see that you’re okay Because you blew that bitch away Blew that bitch away! Yeah!