Oh you were miles away from home; restless nights I’ve spent waiting by the phone. I turned the player up, to drown the doleful memory of your alleviating tone. Beyond this four foreboding walls, lays a very different kind of view. I know my selfishness will keep me safe and my expectations few. I fully understand my haven’s got its victims too, but each casualty has his company, and they breathe life into each other. They’re questioning but there’re no more answers. They live as one and they die together. Every figure perished by your arid hands, and they told me this is not utopia. I made the same mistakes again while I watched all the others fade away. All the colours, they turn to grey and I know that I’m lost without you. It feels like winter is dwelling in me. I’m cold, I’m bitter; I’m withered and empty. My eyes clamped shut, my hands are numb. When it comes to love, it just never lasts. Your arms don’t ever deserve to hold me. There is nothing here that’s still left for me. No more indication that will keep me at ease. I’m devastated and that is all I’ll ever need to be. I still shiver from every bit of this shame. Pardon me as I work on my makeshift grave to hide away from you and all I cannot face, I will shoulder this blame. My head lies nicely in the palm of my hands. My heart is shattered but there’re no tears to spare. What welcomes me home is a bed of bones. Oh dear lord I’ve never felt so alone. I watched all the colours fade to grey. My eyelids fluttered close but my fists stay clenched and porcelain. With every heartbeat, I can feel the end just inching closer. Oh well I’ll stay asleep. Will I stay asleep? But even so, nothing would ever change. Should I stay asleep? Will I stay asleep? But even so, nothing would change when I awake.
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