(Whizzer) (speaking) A Day In Falsettoland, Dr. Mendel At Work.
(Caroline) You go out on the streets, And there are all these people asking for a handout! You go home, you open up your mail, And it's full of people asking for a donation! And you turn on the TV and they want money for starving children in Ethiopia! I just want to be left alone!
(Mendel) (overlapping) (singing) I don't get it! I don't understand! In the 60s, everyone had heart. In the 60s, we were all a part of the same team. In the 60s, we had a new world to start! Could this- oh God, don't say this- Could this be the new world we started' Here I sit, brokenhearted and-
(Caroline) (speaking) Do I wait for the promotion, or do I take this IBM job'
(Mendel) Yeah, well, Caroline' Hmm. (singing) I don't get it! I've been left behind, Half my patients, yuppie pagans Modeled on the Ronald Reagans! Now the world is too pathetic, And I don't get it at all!
(Caroline) (speaking) Oh, I'm in a deep quandary about my career. What do you think I should do'
(Mendel) Time's up.
(Caroline) Awww.
(Mendel) (singing) At least there's Trina at home, Trina in bed, Trina obsessing and sort of caressing My head with her feet. I once thought it was sweet, But I don't anymore. Now I just snore,
Cause I'm so exhausted, Listening as those yuppie farts complain, Listening as their shallow hearts explain Their lives.
(Charlotte) (speaking) Trina Works It Out.
(Trina) (singing) Marvin's back with Whizzer, Just like how it was. If I don't like Whizzer, It's because my ex sure does.
Why should that affect me' Sometimes I'm a lout. Mendel serenades and Jason calms me. Why should I be wilting When their precious love is not in doubt' Work it out!
(Jason) The Neighbors Relax!
(Cordelia) How was your day at the hospital'
(Charlotte) Unbelieveable! What is that smell'
(Cordelia) Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine! I've been practicing cuisine bar mitzvah nouvelle. Well'
(Mendel) (speaking) Hi, honey.
(Trina) Hi, honey.
(Mendel) (singing) How was your day'
(Trina) It was terrible. Did you hear that Marvin's back with Whizzer' Marvin's back with Whizzer!
(Mendel) Drop it, sweetheart. Give it up, you know I love you. Honey, sweetheart, what's the matter' I don't get it. Why don't you let go'
(Trina) After the first mile, I'll be OK. I cannot let go until we have this bar mitzvah.
(Mendel) Isn't it enough I want you every night'
(Trina) Heh.
(Mendel) Every other night'
(Trina) Hehehehehe.
(Mendel) Every third night' Everything will be alright.
(Trina) Everything will be alright.
(Mendel and Trina) Everything will be alright.
(Cordelia) How was your day at the hospital'
(Charlotte) It was wonderful. For the first time in months, nobody died. There were just heart attacks and gallstones, Light bulbs up the ass, Fake appendicitis, which is gas, Which I diagnosed. People overdosed And I saved them.
I save the young people, old people, One priest and one high school principal! Saving lives, I feel invincible! Yes, I do!
Do you know how great my life is' Do you know how great my life is, Saving lives and loving you'
(Cordelia) You save lives and I save chicken fat, I can't fucking deal with that!
(Charlotte) Do you know how great my life is'
(Cordelia) Yes, I know how great your life is.
(Charlotte) Do you know how great my life is'
(Cordelia) Yes, I know how great your life is. (Charlotte) Do you know how great my life is,
(Cordelia) Yes, I know how great-
(Mendel and Trina) (overlapping) Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.
(Charlotte) Saving lives
(Charlotte and Cordelia) And loving you.
(Marvin and Whizzer are playing racquetball)
(Whizzer) It bounced twice.
(Marvin) No, it didn't.
(Whizzer) Once, then twice. You know it did.
(Marvin) That's not nice.
(Whizzer) No, it isn't, But you're a pain in the ass!
(Marvin) You're a beast, but at least When you play me, you win.
(Whizzer) You give up.
(Marvin) I perspire.
(Whizzer) Where's the heat' Where's the fire' It used to be you'd desire a fight, So fight!
(Marvin) So play!
(Whizzer) One two three four!
(Marvin) One two three four!
(Whizzer) One two three four!
(Marvin) One two three four!
(Whizzer) Lucky dink.
(Marvin) I'm finessing.
(Whizzer) Something stinks in how you play.
(Marvin) Don't you think it's a blessing I'm so pathetically bad'
(Whizzer) Just stay back, sir, with force. I'll attack and, of course, I will win! Just give in to bliss And kiss!
(Marvin) Let's go! Do you know all I want is you' Anything you do is alright! Yes, it's alright! Do you know all I want
(Whizzer) (speaking) (overlapping) Down the alley! High long! Low jump! Oooh! Ceiling shot! Into the court! Four walls! Dink!
(Marvin) Is you'
(Whizzer) It hit your shoe.
(Marvin) No, it didn't!
(Whizzer) Yes, it did. The game is through.
(Marvin) That's not nice.
(Whizzer) No, it isn't.
(Marvin) God, you're a pain in the ass!
(Whizzer) Play it raw, don't play pretty. Sex and games in New York City Have got to be played with flair And passion, and passion and flair!
(Charlotte and Cordelia) Do you know how great my life is' Do you know how great my life is, Saving lives and loving you'
(Marvin and Whizzer) (overlapping) Do you know all I want is you' Anything you do is alright! Yes, it's alright!
(Mendel and Trina) (overlapping) Everything will be alright! Everything will be alright!
(All) Everything will, Everything will, Everything will, Everything will be alright! Alright!