A Tight-Knit Family / Love is Blind / The Thrill of First Love
A Tight-Knit Family
MARVIN: Well, the situation's this Its not tough to comprehend I divorced my wife I left my child And I ran off with a friend
But I want a tight-knit family I want a group that harmonizes I want my wife and kid and friend To pretend Time will mend Our pain
So I make them interact So I don't go by the book We all eat as one- Wife, friend, and son- And I sing out as I cook
I want a tight-knit family. I hope you all enjoy linguine. Talk till you hear the dinner bell. Such a dear clientele.
I swear we're gonna come through it. I fear we'll probably fight, But nothing's impossible. Live by your wit-? Kid, wife, and lover will have to admit I was right I cushioned the fall I want it all I want it all I want it? _______________________________________________
Love is Blind
MENDEL: Sit down, my dear I hear you have a problem I'm sure you're not disgusting or indiscreet Take a load off your feet-
TRINA: Love is a mess So's my son, expressly to hurt me Marvin, my ex- You've seen him for years- Told me over the phone to tell you my fears Do you only treat queers?
MENDEL: Breathe deep, my dear You'll find me understanding Your pain is a priori Unfold you untold story Now to break bread Loosen your glands Put your head in my hands
TRINA: I'm everything he wanted It's time I put it all together The date was set My father let my marry I married. I? Then Marvin came from work Sat me down on the bed He told me how he loved me How needed, that thought valued me I have?
MENDEL: What?
MARVIN: (as Trina mouths this) Syphilis
TRINA: He said
MENDEL: Good
TRINA: I have
MENDEL: Yes?
MARVIN: (Trina mouths) Syphilis
TRINA: It's true
MENDEL: Good
TRINA: I had something rotten Which appears thought now it's well forgo, an?
MARVIN: Maybe, darling, so do you
TRINA: Maybe, darling, so do you
TRINA: (to Marvin) I am probably diseased
MENDEL: You're a lovely girl
TRINA: (to Marvin) And so easily appeased
MENDEL: What a lovely girl, though she's probably diseased
TRINA: He took pains to not excited us He explains I've?
MARVIN: Hepatitis
TRINA: Too
MARVIN, JASON, AND WHIZZER: Hepa hepa hepatitis hepatitis hepatitis
MENDEL: Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways
TRINA: Then I stayed home from work Took good care of my men They faked despair, they wet their bed, They combed their hair, they acted dead One said?
MENDEL: Yes?
JASON: Daddy is a prick
MENDEL: What?
TRINA: He said?
MENDEL: Yes?
JASON: Daddy isn't mine
MENDEL: Good
TRINA: He filled my coats With candies and notes, with 'Will you be my valentine'?
MARVIN: (To Whizzer) Will you be my valentine?
TRINA: This gets harder to believe
MENDEL: You're a damaged girl
TRINA: I've a scalpel up my sleeve
ALL: What a damaged girl
MENDEL: Do not ever slit your wrists
TRINA: I've missed him; he's still missing Don't make noise, but daddy's kissing boys
ALL: Petty, petty, petty, petty
MENDEL AND TRINA: Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways
ALL: Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways
MARVIN/ OTHERS: Love is crazy/ Love- Love is often boring Love stinks/ Love- Love is pretty often debris When you find/ Love- What you find Then never, never, never, never, never/ Love- Do it over again
Love reads like a bad biography/ Love- All the names are changed to protect the innocent/ Love-
ALL: Love is blind
MENDEL: My name is Mendel I treat her husband I think she's very insecure But so am I I've never married Work, work is my passion Or perhaps that's an alibi
(speak) I don't care to discuss it.
(sing) I think she's charming I think she's eager That's unprofessional and mean But still it's true
ALL: His name is Mendel
WHIZZER: Ah-ah
MENDEL: Return next Friday I admit I admire you _______________________________________________
Thrill of First Love
WHIZZER: Pick up all your clothes
MARVIN: Whizzer begs
WHIZZER: Whizzer knows
MARVIN: Shave your legs
WHIZZER: Make me sick
MARVIN: You're a prick
WHIZZER: God you're impossible We've been together for nine months
MARVIN: Uh' ten months
WHIZZER: Nine Months
MARVIN: Ten Months
WHIZZER: Nine months
MARVIN: Ten months We are the salt of the bourgeoisie
WHIZZER: While I put the steak in?
MARVIN: I bring home the bacon
BOTH: And we're proud to say we love it how we
MARVIN/ WHIZZER: Don't/ Won't
MARVIN; Don't
WHIZZER: Won't
BOTH: Agree
WHIZZER: Everything he owns is vile Marvin doesn't care A whit Marvin doesn't share My devotion to Style Men from France can cancel a debt Men in cufflinks make me forget my name I intend to upset This regrettable game
MARVIN: Whizzer takes me by the neck
WHIZZER: Isn't that a French lapel?
MARVIN: Whizzer has unlimited knowledge of Dreck
WHIZZER: Send me flowers
MARVIN: Mention is made?
WHIZZER: Make them roses
MARVIN: Attention is paid in full
WHIZZER: See how quickly he sours
MARVIN: When he pushes, I pull
WHIZZER: Pick up your clothes, Marvin breeding shows Marvin
MARVIN: I was rich He was horny
WHIZZER: We fit like a glove
MARVIN: Close your eyes, Whizzer
WHIZZER: Passion dies But I'd kill for that thrill of first love
BOTH: We ask for passion at all times We stand for passion and drink this toast
WHIZZER: Still it's awfully trying?
MARVIN: And we're not denying?
BOTH: That of all the lesser passions We like fighting most
MARVIN: Whizzer drinks too much to see What a joy is chastity What a joy is saving his joys For one man
WHIZZER: Leave me
MARVIN: Love me
WHIZZER: Don't be a fool
MARVIN: Want me
WHIZZER: Feed me
MARVIN: No one's so cruel and cheap
WHIZZER: What I love I devour
MARVIN: What you love you devour? What I covet I keep
Isn't that right, Whizzer? Let's both fight, Whizzer!
WHIZZER: I was trained in karate
MARVIN: I'm best when I cheat So I'll cheat, Whizzer, and I'll shove And I'll kill for that thrill of first love
WHIZZER: We've been together for nine months-
MARVIN: Ten months
WHIZZER: Nine months
MARVIN: We've been together for ten months
WHIZZER: Nine months
MARVIN: Ten months In fact we've almost survived a year
WHIZZER: True, but
BOTH: Who is counting? We're too busy mounting A display of our affection That is so sincere
(30 measure interlude)
BOTH: Passion dies
MARVIN: Passion dies
WHIZZER: I would kill for that thrill of first love
MARVIN: I would kill for that thrill
WHIZZER: I would kill for that thrill of first love-
MARVIN: Of first love- I would kill for that thrill