Featuring Taryn Southern - 'Game of Thrones' Ultimate Birthday Rap Battle | Текст песни

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• Featuring Taryn Southern
• 'Game of Thrones' Ultimate Birthday Rap Battle

BAELISH: Welcome to King's Landing, a city of kings and whores
where anything can happen.

PYCELLE: Yes, quite right.

VARYS: Do be careful, 'cause shit's about to get real.

ROBERT BARATHEON: Ho….
Well, I'm the fuckin' King
Robert Baratheon, wrathful and nasty, when I
drop the fuckin' hammer, invade like a pathogen, now
gimme three whores, so I can smack that ass again, and
build a bigger orphanage to put all my bastards in.
My wife's a brother-fucker and a straight-up bitch
who gave me three blonde shits, but her daddy is rich
Wine! All this arse-lickin''s makin' me sick
I thank the gods that a boar put a tusk through my pancreas.

CERSEI: I gestated my bro's DNA…

TYRION: Not mine.

CERSEI: …thought my inbred kids were okay…

NED: Seriously?

CERSEI: …but I'm afraid that…

TYRION & NED: Joffrey is a half-wit, demented, sadistic piece of shit.

JOFFREY: You better say that I'm the king or I'll chop off your head
I'll put your genitals in the genital jar I keep in a drawer beside my bed-

SANSA: Your grace.

JOFFREY: Yes, give her a gift, hit her in the face.

SANSA: Why?!

JOFFREY: Women are so weak and weary
bring her back when she has her period.
Burn the traitors, crush the North, kill the babies, fuck the poor,
I'm so bored with cutting out tongues, but I'm gettin' it done, mutilating whores

MARGAERY: Is this yours?

JOFFREY: Yes, it is.

MARGAERY: Talk about killing. I love that shit. Stabbing, hacking, blood and guts….

JOFFREY: Hold on--I'm about to jizz.

VARYS: Sadly, I cannot.

PYCELLE: No jizz, quite right.

BAELISH: A sorcerer cut off your junk, we know. At least it wasn't your head.

VARYS: Poor Ned Stark. What will the North do?

PYCELLE: My jizz is like baking soda.

VARYS: The Stark bannermen?

BANNERMEN: Oh... yeah!

ROBB: Oh hell yeah!

BAELISH: Why are they so fucking happy?

BANNERMEN: Whut whut??? Ho!!! North side! All hail King in the North, Robb Stark. Ho…..

ROBB: Yeah, yeah…
we fight for independence, it's a glorious day
'cause I married for love, and it's cool with the Freys
Yeah, we're heading to a wedding, gonna party today
and I'm gonna be a dad?! God, everything's great!

BANNERMEN: Hey!

CATELYN: Winter is coming.

ROBB: So we'll hang out inside!

CATELYN: But Winterfell burned down, Robb…

ROBB: Look on the bright side.
Lemme hear my Starks: are we doin' alright?

BRAN: Father's dead, we're homeless, and I'm crippled for life.

RICKON: I'm hungry.

ARYA: I'm alone in the middle of a war.

ROBB: Yeah!

SANSA: I love the gay boy, but I married the dwarf.

ROBB: See that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, we're havin' a ball

LYSA: I'm gonna breastfeed Robin 'til my breasts fall off.

NORTHWOMEN: We are the North!

ROBIN: Yay!

ROBB: Brienne, how's it going with the Kingslayer?

BRIENNE: Rapists have me and I'm fighting a bear!

NORTHWOMEN: We are the North!

ROBB: Cool! How's it hangin', Theon?

THEON: Really bad!

ARYA: I met a lady who had demons in her vag!

NORTHWOMEN: We are the North!

EVERYBODY:
We are the North Side, ey!
Doin' it our own way!

NORTHWOMEN: We are the North!

ROBB: Hey, it's my boy, Jon Snow! What up Jon?

SAMWELL: Um, hullo. We've got a bit of a problem at the Wall. It's… it's a bit nippy… and…

JON SNOW: There's fuckin' Whitewalkers!
Shit’s crazy, I'm freezin' to death
with thieves and rapers, had to swear off

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