I went up for my interview on the fourth day of July Personnel man he questioned me until I nearly cried Made me fill in forms, until I shook with fear About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin's queer
He asked me how many jobs I had before He nearly had a heart attack when I answered: four! Four jobs in twenty years, oh this could never be We only take on men, who'll work until they die
He said here's you goldwatch and the shackles for your chain And your piece of paper to say you left here sane If you have a son, who wants as good career Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line This is where we bury them in quick stones and in line If you come to work for us, on this you must agree That if you're going to die, please do it during tea break
He said here's you goldwatch and the shackles for your chain And your piece of paper to say you left here sane If you have a son, who wants as good career Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
This story that you've heard, you may think rather queer But it is the truth, you'll be surprised to hear I did not want no job upon the board I just wanted to take the brooms, and sweep the bloody floor
He said here's you goldwatch and the shackles for your chain And your piece of paper to say you left here sane If you have a son, who wants as good career Just get him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years