i use to walk from school to meet you at the coffee shop to drink two cups of joe, then bum a smoke off anyone and i’d play for you some songs i wrote - most were about being alone and how sad i got, my troubled thoughts and giving up before i knew what troubled was
i never used to read, i never had the time i’d be too busy writing about my own life and everything we saw that day and how you made me feel to assure myself everything was real
i was never good at talking smoothly so we’d stick to watching movies take to bed Eraserhead and The Squid and the Whale and i’d play for you some songs i wrote most were about the way you spoke and how sad i got when you’d stop and go to sleep before you knew just what they mean
i’d dream about a time when everything was fine where every single passing day didn’t feel like a waste of time i saw so many things today but didn’t feel alive i’ve died, i’ve died, i’ve died
now i don’t remember how you speak i mean it comes to me in dreams but by morning i lose everything you ever said so i am going to bed.