I know a guy Can’t keep his feet on the floor He's got a bloody t-shirt And a thin, tired soul He eats men’s hearts with tea And he pukes solid gold And I love him so
I have a friend With a neck made of steel He robbed a liquor store Went home for a meal If God had apple pie He’d be a little rascal With worms on his face He’d offer you some And I love him so
I’m a handsome genius I'm ugly and stupid
I know a guy With a heart like a beanstalk He fell off a skyscraper And went for a walk A monster broke him in two And drowned him in feces He’s a knight in white, shining armor And he'll sing to your daughter And I love him so And I love him so
I have a dad Whose blood is boiling Unleash his rage He’ll mow down a Carl’s Jr. He never held my hand When the poison was blooming He likes little, pretty birds And going fishing And I love him so And I love him so