florrie - The Ballad of Benedict Cumberbatch | Текст песни

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• The Ballad of Benedict Cumberbatch

Benedict Cumberbatch

You have burned the hearts right out of millions of screaming fangirls

With your curly hair and your razor cheekbones

They’re so sharp i could shave my legs with them

But I wont because that would be weird and scary

and highly unsanitary

Benedict Cumberbatch



Your legs are long and bendy like a thpider

Your sexpanther voice has let you inside our

Collective consciousness and your unpretentiousness

And general humility makes us go weak at the knees

Benedict Cumberbatch

When you were marching and protesting tories

I thought that you couldn’t get anymore glorious

But then you made me cry at the reichenbach falls

I was screaming at the telly but you didn’t heed my calls

Benedict Cumberbatch

And then i thought things couldn’t get any worse

in the heartbreaking tearjerking Cumberverse

And then you started swimming in that bloody third star movie

and I spent the rest of the day sobbing into my duvet

Benedict Cumberbatch

But then you made it ok by doing THAT thriller dance

You can atone for the tears and just get into my pants.

BE BRAVE it’s ok if you

want to admit that you like me too

Ok, here’s your starter for ten

How long will it take you to notice me, Ben?

Even back in the days of fortysomething

There were girls that really thought you were something

With your cumbercurls

and your cumberglittershoes

in your cumberworld

with your cumbermoves

and your cumberface

and your cumberlife

wont you please let me

be your cumberwife?

Benedict Cumberbatch

I love you.

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