CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER: Hello there...this is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe was sent to a special prison where they keep all the other criminals from the music business...you know... the ones who get caught...it's a horrible place, painted all green on the inside, where musicians and former executives take turns snorting detergent and plooking each other...
(As the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER chuckles to himself for a moment, FATHER RILEY, who became BUDDY JONES, steps into view in his new identity: FATHER RILEY 8. JONES, Prison Chaplain, who, in a rather heavy-handed piece of imagery, is now entrusted with the job of singing this song as he assists the captured executives in their quest for new meat to plook, and, once having found these victims for the princes of the industry, trades them little blobs of sanctified lubricant jelly forcigarettes and candy bars while he holds them down so the execs won't have to work too hard when they stick it in.) ... Anyway, while he's in there he meets this guy who used to be a promo man for a major record company, Bald-Headed John... King of the Plookers...
FATHER RILEY B. JONES : This is the story 'bout Bald-Headed John
FORMER EXECS: Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong
FATHER RILEY B. JONES: He talks a lot 'n it's usually wrong
FORMER EXECS: Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong
FATHER RILEY B.JONES: He said Dong was Wong, 'N Wong was Kong 'N Dong work for Yuda, N John was wrong
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again Dong work for Yuda Dong, Dong Sorry John Sorry better Try it again He said Dong was Wong And Wong was Kong And Dong was Gong 'N John was wrong
FATHER RILEY B. JONES : John's got a sausage Yeh man John's got a sausage Yeh man John's got a sausage that will make you fart John's got a sausage that will break your heart Make you fart And break your heart Don't bend over if you are smart He took a little walk to the weenie stand Johns got a sausage Yeh man A great big weenie in both his hands John's got a sausage Yeh man He sucked on the end 'til the mustard squirt He said. "Ya'll stand back 'cause you might get hurt'
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again Johns got a sausage Yeh man Sorry John Sorry better Try it again He said Dong was Wong Wong was Kong Kong was Gong 'N" John was wrong Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: Make way for the iron shaschige
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: I need a dozen towels so the boys can take a shower
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: Bartender, bring me a colada and milk
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: On second thought, make that a water . . . ???
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: Falcum . . . Take me to the falcum!
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: I wave my bags Did you wave vour'n
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: Well how much did they wave?
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: Ah'm almost two kilometers tall
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: This girl must be praketing richcraft
FORMER EXECS: Sorry John Sorry better Try it again
BALD-HEADED JOHN: Don't worry about the faggot I'll