Fuck yourself with a rubber hose Stick it in your mouth and down your throat Up your nose and in your heinie hole I don't care where it goes And it don't matter if you're straight or gay You should fuck yourself anyway Now, you don't have to listen to a word I say But I know you, you'll be humpin' away Fuck yourself with your neighbor's nose If you can't use that, use a 10-foot pole Stick it up your ass and go for a stroll Everyone will know you've been to this show If you can't take, eat my stool Masturbate with some crazy glue I don't care what you do Fock yourself with a garden tool Fuck yourself with politics Ahh they're full of fuckin' fuckin' shit I mean you know we've been lied to ever since we were born It's amazing that we've been getting fucked that long Fuck yourself with the world wide web Man you could ride that sucker right from your bed You may even meet a Tom, Dick, Jane or Billy Then grab onto your modem and fuck yourself silly Fuck yourself with your heart and soul Give it everything you got, hey I'm talkin' to you If you can't even fuck yourself, How ya gonna fuck somebody else? Fuck yourself with my microphone I'll give it to you later when we're all alone We can turn it up loud And see if you come, but Don't get your jizz on my microphone Fuck yourself with organized religion Now that is some seriously sinnin' business If the Lord sees their pathetic crimes He'll be fuckin' them 'til the end of time And can someone explain to me this racist crap I know it isn't white, but it isn't black And to all you people who only see things your way Well, you can suck my dick and take all day Fuck your nose with a pound of blow Watch your money get up and go but when you burnt your brain and you say I don't know! I hate to tell you but I told you so Fuck yourself with this grunge rock noise I mean, stuff those albums in your groin They come down on me because I know how to play - Hey... fuck you! Fuck yourself with a copy of Rolling Stone Or are they too holy for your holiest of holes Now those people think they're holier than Moses But aren't they just a bunch of fuckin' posers Fuck yourself with your mother's jewelry I won't tell, I ain't a stooly If you pounce hard enough you'll cough up a ruby Your blood will be rich and so will your doodie Fuck yourself with the latest fashion With your spikes and your hair and those cute little buttons And if you happen to have some leather and lace Fuck yourself 'til you're blue in the face Fuck yourself with your income tax They're fucking you and that's a fact Before you know it your money's all spent And you've just been fucked by the government Fuck yourself with your lawyer friend You're the only one that's getting fucked in the end I have been so fucked by legal bills that my asshole is the size of Beverly Hills Fuck yourself with your full-length sweater With your minks and your diamonds and your Irish Setter With your cash and your trash and your sinks and your drinks Just fuck yourself 'til you can't even think Those of you who enjoy this song thank you thank you, I love you Let's get it on But for those of you who are totally outraged Fuck yourself with your face