On the Planet of the Baritone Women They talk low 'Bout stuff they know.
They sing "Oooh!" And laugh at you (Ah-ha-ha-ha-hah! Hey!)
If you can't (IF YOU CAN'T) Do it too (DO IT TOO) (Ah-ha-ha-ha-hah! Hey!)
They sing "Li-Li-Li-Li!" They sing "Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo!" The men carry purses Wherever they go
Junior executives. All in a row, Watch the Baritone Women Do the Baritone show (Ah-ha-ha-ha-hah! Hey!)
They sing about wheat; They sing about corn; They sing about places Where women was born
They sing about hate! They sing about fear! It seems like they all got A pretty good ear (Ah-ha-ha-ha-hah! Hey!)
They sing it in harmony Not often heard, With a big ol' cadenza . . . (Robert Martin, from Philadelphia, Curtis Institute graduate, 1971 Let's hear it for him!) On every long word
They keep it as low As they possibly can, And sometimes they walk Like an E-GYP-TIAN (Ah-ha-ha-ha-hah! Hey!)
They do choreography Still more unique! They leave their legs open Whenever they speak!
They roll their eyes upward And over again, And slam their legs closed When they sing about men!
Those Baritone Women! They are not your friend! (Ah-ha-ha-ha-hah!)