Game of thrones - Rap Battle | Текст песни

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• Game of thrones
• Rap Battle

[Petyr Baelish]
Welcome to King's Landing, a city of kings and whores where anything can happen
[Grand Master Pycelle]
Yes, quite right
[Varys]
Do be careful, cause shit's about to get real

[Robert Baratheon]
Hoooo...well I'm the fuckin' king
Robert Baratheon, wrathful and nasty
When I drop the fuckin' hammer, invade like a pathogen
Now give me three whores so I can smack that ass again
And build a bigger orphanage to put all my bastards in
My wife's a brother-fucker and a straight up bitch
Who gave me three blonde shits
But her daddy's rich
Wine!
All this arse-lickin's makin' me sick
I thank the gods that a boar put a tusk through my pancreas

[Cersei Lannister]
I gestated my bro's DNA
[Tyrion Lannister]
Not mine!
[Cersei]
Thought my inbred kids were okay
[Ned Stark]
Seriously?
[Cersei]
But I'm afraid that...
[Ned & Tyrion]
Joffrey is a half-wit, demented, sadistic piece of shit

[Joffrey Baratheon]
You better say that I'm the king or I'll chop off your head
And put your genitals in the genital jar I keep in a drawer beside my bed
[Sansa Stark]
Your Grace?
[Joffrey]
Yes, give her a gift, hit her in the face
[Sansa]
Why?!
[Joffrey}
Women are so weak and weary, bring her back when she has her period
Burn the traitors
Crush the North
Kill the babies
Fuck the poor
I'm so bored with cutting out tongues but I'm getting it done mutilating whores
[Margaery Tyrell]
Is this your's?
[Joffrey]
Yes, it is
[Margaery]
Talk about killing I love that shit
Stabbing, hacking, blood and guts
[Joffrey]
Hold on, I'm about to jizz

[Varys]
Sadly, I cannot
[Pycelle]
No jizz, quite right
[Baelish]
A sorcerer cut off your junk, we know
At least it wasn't your head
[Varys]
Poor Ned Stark, what will the North do?
[Pycelle]
My jizz is like baking soda
[Varys]
The Stark bannermen?
[Baelish]
Why are they so fucking happy?

[Stark Bannermen]
Oh hell yeah!
What what!
Northside!
All hail King in the North, Robb Stark!
[Robb Stark]
Yeah, yeah!
We fight for independence, its a glorious day
Cause I married for love, and its cool with the Freys!
Yo we're heading to a wedding, gonna party today
And I'm gonna be a dad, god everything's great!
[Catelyn Stark]
Winter is coming
[Robb]
So we'll hang out inside!
[Catelyn]
But Winterfell burned down, Robb
[Robb]
Well, look on the bright side
Lemme hear my Starks are we doin' alright?!
[Bran Stark]
Father's dead, we're homeless, and I'm crippled for life
[Rickon Stark]
I'm hungry
[Arya Stark]
I'm alone in the middle of the war
[Sansa]
I loved the gay boy but I married the dwarf
[Robb]
See, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, we're havin' a ball!
[Lysa Arryn]
I'm gonna breastfeed Robin until my breasts fall off!
[Northern girls]
We are the north!
[Robb]
Brienne, how's it goin' with the Kingslayer?
[Brienne]
Rapists have me and I'm fighting a bear!
[Robb]
Cool, how's it hanging Theon?
[Theon Greyjoy]
REALLY BAD!
[Arya]
I met a lady who had demons in her vag!
[Northern Hook]
We are the North side, ay!
Doin' it our own way!
[Robb]
Hey, it's my boy Jon Snow! What up Jon!

[Samwell Tarly]
Um, hello...we have a bit of a problem here at the wall...
It's...it's a bit nippy and...well...
[Jon Snow]
THERE'S FUCKING WHITE WALKERS
Shit's crazy, I'm freezin' to death
With thieves and rapers, had to swear off sex
If I could take it back, I'd take the black and shove it up Craster's ass but it's too late for that
With zombies surgin' south
[Samwell]

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